i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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