I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
