Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
