I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
