im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
