I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize