in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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