jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
