hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
