just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
