Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
