The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
