You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize