I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
