Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
