she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
