No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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