hotel room ftw
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
