I just saw a hot homeless man
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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