The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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