i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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