at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
