too bad you live with your parents still
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
