well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
