I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
