"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We have started to decorate penises.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize