There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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