Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
