You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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