The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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