Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
