If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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