yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
