I think im going to throw up on grandma
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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