Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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