Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
