Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
