today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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