direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
