census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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