Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
