You smell like a Billy Joel song
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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