better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Who died my cat blue again?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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