I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
