yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize