i think my tv is drunk
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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