it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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