Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My vagina is officially offended.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
