WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
