Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
