That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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