It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
