I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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