how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
bring money and cleavage
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
