so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
