Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize