the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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