there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
