Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
