It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
