Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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