I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
try to milk me bitch
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
