I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
