Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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