my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
