I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize