yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
