I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
