Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
